Rules

18+

"I want to be out of control, to let go into someone else’s arms, their swift painful hands. I need someone’s cock thrusting into me and to hear “Do you like that, whore?” into my ears. Just for one night, please? What’s holding me back?"

A kinky story about someone being obsessed and trapped by rules at play parties.

If you liked this story, have a look at my 1st one, "A Trophy, Used"

"3 hours deep into another play party rave I check my phone: 1am. I feel like tonight’s been another failed attempt at having my mouth plunge onto cock or cunt as deep as the time is. Again, I just touch the surface of actively playing in the kink scene, my fingers only grazing sweat when I want to collide with other bodily fluids. 

   No-one’s approached me tonight. Eyes look at me- then sharply away. My organs scream for a chance at being someone’s cute little fucktoy, but saying that out loud? Impossible. 

   

It’s 1:01am Sunday in March and I’m standing in the cold outdoor smoking area, looking for anyone to approach me and ask whether I want to blow them as they wrench my hair, commanding me with ‘good whore, taking it all’. But no-one does, and I don’t approach neither. 

   Internal stalemate. 

   No Man’s Land.

   Surrounded by almost-naked people smoking/non-smoking, chatting with grins or with hands around torsos, I stand almost-naked too, hiding how much I want even a hug. I want more, obviously, but a hug would at least help me feel human.   Noticed.   Sentient.

   

I can’t ask someone myself, as one of the rules of these play parties says to be thoughtful of people’s personal space: ASK BEFORE TOUCHING. My brain interprets it as I can't ask at all, for some reason? The unspoken chemical logic is if I were to go up and ask someone something, then I'm invading their space, already a betrayal of the rule. If I were to say what I want to do to them or vice-versa, then that’s even a bigger betrayal, it’s sexually explicit.

   I need to receive interest, I need to receive interaction or that question.

   I can't give, only take. I need someone to demonstrate how the rules are interpreted, I want to be given the chair on which I brace myself to be fucked. I don’t know how to give that.

   

When I flop fish-like on the dancefloor, I feel the bass pump through the air, and the weary whore in me wants those beats on my cheeks. I want the skin to feel raw, but who can I trust to do that the right way? I need someone to devour me, but to understand what devouring means to a scared sheep. I want them to see the fear(/desire) in my eyes and say "You can let go" as an order. How do I find that person in this area when I can't even touch them? Can barely hear them?"